The Best day!

We have to travel back to 3 1/2 years ago. I had gotten pregnant with Gracie very quickly and thought when I have another it will happen just as fast. Months went by nothing, then somehow months turn into years. It was hard to swallow at times when I saw others around me pregnant-- it was even harder when I started to question and doubt why God has not given me this deep deep desire. Its so hard to wait isn't it? We forget sometimes that we are not in control of our lives- God is and His timing is always perfect but lets be honest-- its hard. There was bitterness, there was anger, there was grieving a child I had never met. There were questions that no one could answer, there were tears-- so many tears. There were doubts, "Maybe I'm only meant to have one child." There were even times when I felt guilty for asking for just one more. It was not easy. 

4 years ago right before we wanted to have another God put certain women in my life who had fertility issues. I mean like 5 women-- it was a total God thing. All of theses women after years, one even 14 years became pregnant. One lady, I had prayed for months for found out she was carrying TWINS! Ah, it gives me chills just thinking back. Looking back I believe God put these women in my life for a reason to show me years later that All things are possible with God. Life gets in the way though when you are going through this journey. No one can truly understand the depth of pain the infertility or secondary infertility journey takes you down. God allows like this to happen so that #1 we can use it for his glory-- all of it the good, the bad, the ugly. #2 He uses it to speak to others... He makes it in such a way that I can say "I've been right there where you are." 

3 months ago at the Mall in Ocala, I just so happened to see one of the women that I had ministered too all those years ago. This time she had already had a second child- a daughter. It did my heart so good to talk with her. God knew I needed to see her and she has been an constant encouragement to me.

This past week, I told Steve I just don't understand why God is not taking this desire for another child away. I have prayed and prayed and the constant longing is still there.

 That same day April 6th I found out we were pregnant. I had to take 4 tests to believe it. I balled when I told Stephen. It still does not seem real. Gracie was thrilled that she got a baby for an early birthday present.

I will update each week, like I did for Gracie on this blog. Its special for me because when I had Gracie I printed out my online journals and put them in a scrapbook for her to someday look at.

God is so good. I can say he is so good even during the not so good times-- He's still good. Please pray with us. We are thrilled and cant wait to share more!

Our little "snowflake" is due around December 12, 2015. The pastor in Stephen has already been thinking about it playing "Jesus" in a nativity. 

Much Love,
Kim